Moms: Stop Saying You’re Fat!
I get it. I’ve got rolls in places my twenty year old self would have been ashamed of. I have stretchmarks on my stretchmarks. I’m fifty pounds heavier than I was in high school. My pant size is in the double digits. I look in the mirror, and really have to talk myself into feeling good about myself some days. I get that you feel fat, and shoot, we may even BE fat, but we need to shut up about it, because our kids are watching and listening.
One of the last things any Mom wants to find out is that their son or daughter has an eating disorder. No good parent would ever intentionally bring this on their children, but some of you are. Every time you look in the mirror, or step on the scale, or make a food choice, or try to put on the skinny jeans you make comments about how fat you are. I’m pointing four fingers back at myself here, so don’t think I’m harping just on you.
Most parents are careful about what comes out of their mouths, because we don’t want our kids repeating it. We don’t use foul language so they won’t repeat it at the worst time possible, we don’t talk about their birthday gifts in front of them, so why do we feel comfortable speaking harshly and negatively about our bodies in front of them? The only words about our bodies should be whether or not we’re healthy. Moms: stop saying you’re fat.
Moms, especially moms of daughters, when you OBSESS over every calorie you eat, every pound you gain or lose, or your pant size, dress size, bra size etc, you are teaching your daughters to be obsessed with that too. Our self-worth is not dependant on what the scale says. We know this. We tell our daughters this, but what we tell ourselves in front of them is vastly different. We cannot talk the talk unless we can walk the walk. Moms: stop saying you’re fat.
Do you know what happens when we obsess like this? You end up with a ten year old daughter, shoot maybe even a six year old daughter, who looks at their body at hates the state it’s in, regardless of what that state is. We get CHILDREN who skip meals to lose weight. We get young girls to puke up their lunch at school. We get adolescents to focus on how small they can be instead of how healthy they can be.
Kids don’t need you to have an eating disorder, or to have an unhealthy perception of themselves and their bodies, because society shoves it down their throat often enough. Your kids need YOU to speak positively about YOURSELF and about YOUR BODY so they can see an example of what they should be doing. Don’t wait to start this until you see warning signs in your children, START NOW. Be intentional with what comes out of your mouth, so you can be intentional about what you teach your kids with your words and actions. It’s not enough to tell your kids they’re cute, or adorable, or perfect the way they are, if you’re going to make posts on Facebook about how fat you are, and how much you hate your body; it’s counter productive.
Even if you feel awful about yourself, start saying only positive things about the body you have, and watch the transformation in yourself and your kids. Words are permanent. It’s hard to take back damage you could have already done in the absorbent mind of your child or teen, but you need to start now. Moms: stop saying you’re fat.
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